In a Nutshell

Nigel Newton

Class Room
 

Ohio – Birthplace of America

I wanted to be a train conductor.

 

…I was born on July 28, 1990, and immediately regretted it. Had I been given the option I would’ve stayed in the womb indefinitely but life, much like Kim Jung Il, is a stern dictator that does not believe in personal freedoms.  My mother, Yvette Jules, a “multi-national-champion runner until I had kids,” decided to name me Nigel simply because she liked the way it sounded.  My father, Anderson Newton, who was “at least more successful than your mother,” had no objections.

 

There is a hole in my memory during the next few years of my life, due to either heavy drinking at the time, or heavy drinking now.  The few snippets I do remember include pushing my brother[1] down the stairs in a laundry basket, cornmeal porridge, and Thomas the Tank Engine.[2]

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[1] Kwame E. Newton (KEN), born February 20, 1993, Alto & Soprano Sax, African American Male

[2] & Friends

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In 6th grade – I won a poetry contest and was hailed as a literary genius throughout my school.  It had been arranged for me to meet an actually poet (probably so he could praise my deft skills with the pen), but the day before the scheduled luncheon my mother picked me up from school in a moving van.

 

“We’re moving to Indianapolis.”

 

Where?

 

Indiana – Cultural Center of the World

I wanted to be an architect.

 

I had never been west of Ohio before — it was exciting. Until we got there. It wasn’t that exciting.  Middle school saw me joining the school band, playing percussion, and eventually gravitating towards the vibraphone.[1]  I was obsessed with Steely Dan, Crash Bandicoot, and LEGOs, so naturally I was not the most popular kid in school…

I tried keeping in touch with my friends back in OH, but that’s not really something I’m good at.

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[1] the what?

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…High school consisted of the usual cocktail of angst, repression, 2/3 laziness and a dash of seasoned sarcasm, shaken and stirred.  It’s that age where you start to realize that adults are sometimes[1] wrong, but you don’t yet realize that you’re sometimes[2] wrong, too.

 

I fell in love with the TV show 24, and stopped going to church.

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[1] (often)

[2] (often)

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Massachusetts – The Partly Sunshine State

I wanted to be a musician.

 

And then I went off to college and learned how expensive life was, and there wasn’t even a money-back guarantee. What a jip!  I met a lot of really cool people at Berklee, the majority of whom moved away after a year.  I came out of the closet,[1] and tasted coffee for the very first time.  I started a band called The Soap Kings, and after the lead singer eloped to Nashville with his girlfriend from Holland, I started my own band called the Premarital Sextet.

 

I tried keeping in touch with my friends back in IN, but that’s not really something I’m good at.

 

…To pay for rent, I started working a totalitarian yogurt company named Pinkberry®, on top of playing gigs on the side.  I lived out in Revere,[2] which wasn’t that bad of a commute, to mention I had a balcony that overlooked the beach and the Atlantic Ocean, and it was cheap.

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[1] It was more like I was dragged.

[2] “Reveyah” if you’re a native.

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I discovered that the wicked witch of the west is actually named Sallie Mae, and she doesn’t melt.

 

And the rest is history. Or soon to be.