4 Poems

Biz (Elizabeth) Diedrick

start
pinching the tips of my fingers one by one
so scared to start writing on the first page
they say first impressions are the most important.
There’s no formula for starting besides the word itself: start.
Now is one of the most beautiful experiences: beginning.
The fall, the rush waiting at any moment
All you have to do
is jump

that’s always the hardest part
knowing every journey is laced with pain and heartbreak
almost makes you believe it’s best to live in an in-between state
shivering at the thought of change
floating in an endless space
not completely happy
but not completely hurting
numbing in the blurred lines of complacency
because if it isn’t pain
if it isn’t happiness
it’s nothing
and I refuse to live in the land of nothing
this is my beginning
one of many introductions to an ever-changing story
I would rather be an impressionist than have a blank canvas
I would rather live in infamy
than never live at all.

sdrawkcaB sI evoL nehW
Their kiss separated and left behind,
Their words in reverse now,
Their smiles to each other divine,
Their bodies moving into past, somehow.

Rewind back to when they first confessed,
Not caring of other people’s thoughts,
Before, the thought of loving a girl caused stress,
But like a fish on a hook, they were caught.

Back to when they questioned,
The way they felt inside,
Because it was unmentioned,
Something they had to hide.

Back to when they first saw each other,
Girl and Girl in different lights,
Both amazed by the other,
The past and future were out of sight.

When Love Is Backwards,
In every way,

You read it right.

I (shouldn’t) Love You (anymore)
Dear…

First glimpse
A sea of deep brown
Something in my chest
Struggles to break out
Those eyes, deep brown
Looking to the expected
Always with a guy
Some guy
That didn’t deserve the grace of…
Finally the words came forth
But not directly
You said you felt the same

We were happy, then you ruined it
Everything
I sank into a black void, and still
I am sinking
I want you to tell me
that you don’t love me.
any other way,
I’ll only sink further
Too much hope to be logically possible
Please, just make the hope go away
Crush me in the only way that hurts the most
So that I can find the strength to pick up the pieces.

Sincerely…

It’s Getting Cold…
The sharp prick of a pin
gets close to explaining how I feel when you post about him.
Like something you keep forgetting is there
because you’re so distracted, you’re having a good time.
I like to think you smile with me like you smile with no one else,
but I know you show that smile for him.
I know because once, I was him
and it hurts
like an open wound that will never close,
slowly, with a burn that is buried under complacency
until the mention of him digs a pin in. Just a little pin,
or a needle…
My emotions fall apart like a poorly constructed ball of yarn
I’m still holding myself together, but it’s a tangled mess
One strand reaches for you,
that strand wants to wrap around you, take you, fight for you
and the other is trying to drag me away,
to put the past behind me, move past what we had,
but I know it’s still there,
but I feel like we never got a chance.
You once told me that you thought I was your soulmate
but I know you can’t live with half a soul while I’m far away.
You need him.
You need someone who can be there for you,
someone like a fresh-knit sweater, to keep you warm.
Featured Artwork:
By Anthony “Tony” Charles Smibert [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons